Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
