White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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