Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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