I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
