found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
