Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita

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(631): View more from New York

You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...

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(229): View more from Georgia

Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.

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(210): View more from Texas

I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.

(512): View more from Texas

There are margaritas in the freezer still.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."

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(313): View more from Michigan

I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.

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(914): View more from New York

Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring

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(701): View more from North Dakota

How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know

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