it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How's work?
Spinning.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize