who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
