I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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