i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize