I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
and she was petting her beer can
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
