I love black thongs
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
