He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
