Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
