literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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