I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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