I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
