Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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