I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I could make wine with my vomit
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
