farters have to be the big spoon...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
