I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
