either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
