a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
