I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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