I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
