with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
