the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
