Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
