She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
