he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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