Pappa wants mamma naked
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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