Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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