STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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