I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
