just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
