I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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