Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
