I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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