Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia