ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities