one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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