no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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