i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
