I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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