brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
