I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
