In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
