Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
