Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
