my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
