Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
