Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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