Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
