My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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