Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
These tits shall not be calmed
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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