well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
