alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
