These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
