i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
