He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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