I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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