He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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